smothered hope

I sometimes get the paranoid feeling that someone is deliberately trying to piss me off by opening various online accounts with my favourite (only, if I can help it) username and then squatting on them. Like at flickr, livejournal, and gmail, for example. Of course I'm not the only person who has ever thought up this particular screen name. It's just that I deserve it more, especially since I actually use the accounts I open.

The fact of the matter is that even if you are sixty years old, your only given name is Kathleen, everyone you know has been calling you "kaffeine" since you were born and you live on coffee beans alone, you still don't deserve the name. Why? Because I'm laying the claim to it, right here and now. I've never had a GeoShitties page, I've never employed rotating gifs, I have good spelling and decent grammar, I never abbreviate words into one letter/number configurations, I've NEVER TYPED AN E-MAIL IN CAPITAL LETTERS and furthermore, I've never encountered another person online who's ever used this same handle as consistently as I have. Therefore, I deserve it most. I win. Give me my username, motherfucker!

I am kaffeine, and you're not.

back | forth

listening:
reading:
ingesting:
(see entries before 20.11.05)

previously on Smothered Hope:

unreal - 20.05.08
in which our narrator kinda just babbles on a bit - 15.05.08
drank several margaritas last night. they were great. - 04.05.08
spacey - 29.04.08
i will most definitely regret posting this in public - 28.04.08