smothered hope

I'm so scared right now. What if he won't accept my reasons? What if he wants me to leave immediately? What if I pull off a smooth explanation, write a perfectly concise, grateful and honest letter, but he still chooses to give me poor references or refuses me a letter of referral? What if, when I come to a time when I need a new job, I cannot acquire one because potential employers think an unemployed person is too much of a risk? What if the money runs out too quickly? What if none of the things I want to do work out, and I wind up back at square one, in retail/ass farming, losing my soul and giving up on life?

I'm so fucking scared... But if I don't do it, will life get any better?

back | forth

listening:
reading:
ingesting:
(see entries before 20.11.05)

previously on Smothered Hope:

unreal - 20.05.08
in which our narrator kinda just babbles on a bit - 15.05.08
drank several margaritas last night. they were great. - 04.05.08
spacey - 29.04.08
i will most definitely regret posting this in public - 28.04.08